Forgiveness

Many times I have been wronged and had to sacrifice my happiness to make others happy by “forgiving”. This seems to be the only consistent trend in my life, being wronged and having to look the other way and sacrificing my happiness. But how can you forgive someone and continue to live with them, eat with them and sleep in the same room with them.

Seeing no change in there personality during the years you have grown to know them and still have to live with them and sleep in the same room as them. Knowing nothing has changed and that they are still the same. The person that took away your childhood and abused you and yet be forced to call him brother.

I try my best to forgive but how can I forget when am constantly reminded. Everytime I move on, am faced with the reality. I feel like am constantly stuck and have nowhere to go. So many things I have locked away, I wonder how I haven’t gone insane.

The hope of a better future, continues to give me the strength I need for tomorrow. I choose not to dwell in the past. But i choose to live in the present and be aware of reality. I choose to build a life and future. I choose to forgive and move forward. But am still haunted by the flashes of rage and anger.

I wonder, for what reason have i endured this pain?